Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Single life

It's funny being single again. I knew it had to be and that it was the right time to walk away but the reality is quite different. In many ways I love it. I like watching what I want on the TV and having control of the remote. I like throwing on some old clothes to slob out on the couch without worrying how bad it looks, I love having the whole bed to myself, apart from the cat of course. I love being spontaneous and doing random things because I don't have to consider anyone else at home. The children are so accepting of my ways and are used to going with the flow. I love sing star Sundays, and lazy reading mornings.....but....there is a part of me that longs to be in partnership again, a part that needs someone else to share things with, someone to be in balance with. I know it's early days yet there is a part of me that is scared of how it will all pan out. How does this dating thing work when you're nearly forty? Is it now OK to call a man or do we still wait for them to take the first step? I have so many questions that at times it feels like my head might spin off into orbit. .
It's not that I need a man to make me whole, I know that I can and do manage on my own. I want one.
Then I stop and remember Rome wasn't built in a day. Jumpers don't knit themselves, stitch by stitch, row by row they grow. Each day passes and brings with it new experiences and one day someone special, someone just right will walk into my life. Single life is about getting ready for that day, enjoying the journey and making the most of life

15 comments:

Danette said...

Alison~
Absolutely! ENJOY the journey!!!
This is just a season of your life. One thing about seasons ~ they always change. Breathe deeply and savor every scent of the current season. Embrace yourself and your children {and if you're really lonely give the cat an extra squeeze!}
Danette

Sal said...

I can relate to that. I was in the very same position as you and at the same age. I loved my freedom and the company of my own children but I did find that I was very lonely at weekends when all of my friends disappeared to be with their own husbands/families.
But don't rush into anything..enjoy your independence ;-)

April said...

One step at a time and always be true to yourself - Life is too short to be unhappy

April xx

Elizabeth said...

Sounds like you are on the right track with the right attitude. I know things will fall into place as they are meant to.

Willow said...

My son didn't marry until he was 31. I told him to focus on becoming the husband he ought to be and the woman would show up. And wow what a woman he got! She's a treasure and perfect for him in every way. For you, you'll become the woman you want to be and when the time is right, poof, there will be the man. I have an older friend (late 70s) who is single now and she says the hard time is at night when there is no one to share moments and no one to share a burden. And you do have your precious children.

LizzieJane said...

I am glad that you are taking time out just for you. You do sound that you are in an ok place right now. Who knows Alison what is waiting for you just around the next corner.
x

Mr Puffy's Knitting Blog: said...

It must be a relief to have finally reached a decision. I know this has been a long time coming. There's no place lonelier than an unloving relationship. Enjoy your space until the right one comes along.

So sorry about your little dog. A lot to absorb in a short period of time. Deep breaths and take one day at a time.

a friend to knit with said...

love your attitude!
and enjoy every moment!

A Spoonful Of Sugar said...

I love how you have used knitting as a metaphor for life - so very true! EGlad to hear you are enjoying this stage and your current independence.

raining sheep said...

Boy, I remember going through those feelings. I loved being single too.... I did not date at all for like 7 years. When I met the Babe, I loved being with someone but was really scared to give up my independence. I love being 'together' now but I really believe you need to walk that single road for a bit to truly discover your soul.

t does wool said...

Al...you are free to do as you please...one day at a time.

Tracy said...

It's hard feeling whole yet lonely occasionally. I didn't get married until I was 27, I was glad I waited for the right man. It was worth the wait. The right person presents themselves when we least expect it. In the meantime, enjoy yourself--your time, your family, your interests. It is better to be alone and strong and truly yourself than in a relationship that is not loving or supportive all around. Delight in the now, exuding love...Love will find you again. :o) ((HUGS))

Linda said...

Take aech day as it comes and ask a man out if he takes your fancy!

At Home Mommy Knits said...

Definitey. Be in the moment and try and enjoy each as it comes :)

louise said...

So much has changed since I last visited you. Sending lots of wishes for future happiness. x