How did life get so complicated

So for a while I was happy, things were going great.  My job was brilliant, challenging and fun, my husband was attentive, funny and just right for me, my daughter was turning into a wonderful young lady.  Then we decided to buy a new house and seriously it's as though everything has gone crazy.  I know they say moving house is amongst the most stressful events in life, but this is silly.
It's not as though I hate my home, quite the opposite in fact, I love my home, it looks perfect, it's the right size and I have worked hard to make it look just the way I want.  So why are we moving?
It all started with Grandma.  She lives some distance away and needed to move closer.  I understand that, I wouldn't want to be alone in my old age. So we began looking for her and nearly died at the price of units and apartments and came to a conclusion that if we were going to become paupers then we should at least gain some benefit from the process.
Thus began the house hunt.  I would prefer to be tracking a serial killer.  I think it would be more exciting and infinitely less stressful.
So I have looked at houses that I wouldn't let my dog live in, houses that are way beyond hideous, houses that look good but don't tick the other boxes.  Land good only for  burning, land which is unsellable, land which is simply not us. Places that would suit us but not Grandma. And so it goes on.  Not even mentioning the whole driving zillions of miles between places. In the heat.  It all adds up to a lack of fun and a lack of time to knit.

Knitting Progress

January is nearing an end, hard to believe that in just a few days we will be into February already.  It is true time does fly unless of course you are waiting for something and then it seems to go agonisingly slowly.
Still I have managed to achieve a few things this month.  I finished the knitting part of the pink cardigan using the wool my mum sent me.  I have sewn up one side and halt the other, so it's almost done.  Having discovered that with my dear hubby's jumper I had knitted the front and back of one style and the sleeves from another style I can safely say I have completed the knitting part of  that project.  I will sew it up and it will become a sleeveless vest.  Not quite what he was hoping for but such is life at times.  Technically hubby isn't a vest man but let's just say he is a man in love and so I am confident that it will be worn.  So I have managed to keep  my new year resolutions so far.  I have my pink Noro cardigan to finish and that's will be the main focus for the next few weeks.

I have started two new projects, a green hoodie for a special friend and a grey sweater for my special  man.  Let's hope I can make these two without any mistakes.

pink Cardigan

I am knitting, I am knitttng with pink yarn, but I am not excited by it.  I have almost finished the Clanger because it was very small and easy.  I need to find some pink pipe cleaners to make the fingers and to shape the ears. I am not excited by this clanger though.  I will be happy to finish him and to hand him over to his new owner and pleased to have brought some pleasure to some ones day. But my days are a tad lack lustre, the shine which I usually pride myself on finding in each moment is not there.  The joy that comes from feeling right with the world, is not mine at the moment.  This is a problem, because usually knitting fixes this for me, I makes me feel better and allows my brain to stop going so fast. But it's not working right now.  NO indeed it is not.  What to do?  Perhaps a break is needed?  Perhaps it's just about finding a project that is exciting?  Or perhaps I just need the school year to start do I can get back into the groove and routine that will allow me to think again.  I have loved the holidays but they are beginning to feel endless and I am beginning to feel guilty that they have not been filled with exciting experiences but have instead been spent you tubed and mine crafted to the max. It probably wont make any difference in the long run.  I think there is a memory wipe that occurs at regular intervals so that children conveniently forget all you have done for them and with them in order for  them to participate in being a teenager and hating you with every ounce of their being.

The post Christmas Blues

Nothing quite deflates like the feeling of having to go back to work while the sun still shines and the schools have yet to drag reluctant students into the classroom for another round of drilling less than thrilling instruction into their heads.
It's not that I don't want to work although it is much more fun to work with a sense of purpose and the beginning of the year can seem a little indirected.  I am trying to read and prepared myself mentally but the lure of the sunshine distracts me and I long to take my work and recline in a hammock sipping on something cold and fruity.
Of course I know the reality is that I would only be able to sit like that for a few minutes before my natural propensity to be doing something active would kick in.

I have at least a new mantra for this year and it's about time.  I always feel as though I am chasing my tail.  I want to do so much and am perhaps often, well maybe always, on the generous side  with my expectations of what can be achieved.  I can knit a jumper, make a clanger, fix some place mats, embroider a birth chart and keep the house immaculate and prepared a delicious home cooked meal.  In the same day!  Perhaps my parents came from some far away planet where time is double the span allotted to earth.  That would explain why I try to fit so much in.
So this year I am not going to say I have no time because I think it's more about priorities.  There are things that I love to do, and there are things I have to do.  it's the things I have to do that steal time away from the things I love to do and I need to better at balancing those and creating a more even distribution.  Yes I love to knit.  I am perfectly content to put on a season of a show I like and then knit away.  But I have to realise that I will never reach the end of the list of things I want to knit, although perhaps I may reach the age when I can no longer knit.  This is sobering.  So I will prioritise the things that bring me pleasure whilst allowing space to do that which must be done.  Of course that means eight hours of work a day.  Ho hum.

I'm going to knit a clanger

No I really am going to knit a clanger I liked the show as a child and then agin when my first three were little before Fireman Sam and Bob the Builder muscled in. I didn't notice though that the clangers were knitted.  I can't think why I didn't notice something important as as that.

What really annoys me is that the Clanger and Soup dragon knitting patterns are available as ibooks in the Itunes store but only in the UK.  Really because nobody in the rest of the world wants to knit a clanger.  Well that's just totally wrong.

First finished item for 2014

I made another skirt.  I know it seems that I have a rare and pretty useless talent for designing and  knitting skirts.  Ok maybe not really that much of a talent considering some of them have been less than wearableI have made several skirts, two of the Bell curve skirt which I now have no idea of their whereabouts so that clearly indicates how successful they must have been. My favourite a black cotton skirt, a greeny/grey cotton skirt, a brown bamboo skirt, which actually has always been less than satisfactory because the length is wrong and I can't find any more of the yarn to fix it. a blue skirt and now the latest creation a multiway.


The blue skirt is made from Sirdar's Snuggly Baby Speckle DK is a cotton-rich blend made with 60% cotton and 40% acrylic and comes in a range of beautifully soft and speckled shades. I decided on a 2x2 rib pattern and away I went. we all know I am not the most patient person in he universe so it will come as no surprised that I grew bored with the skirt and decided it was quite long enough. Having cast off I then crocheted a scalloped edge to the skirt which I love and think adds a feminine touch. I then discovered that the skirt was way too short for a woman of a certain age to wear. Stink. Double stink. but my newly honed crochet skills came to the fore and I simply crocheted the waist band to add length without disturbing the scalloped edging.

The multiway is knit from Elle Stretch which I bought many years ago to knit eldest dear daughter a dress.  We bought several colour-ways as in the shop she couldn't decide which looked best.  I love the simplicity of these skirts and I am pleased with the flounce that I made up as I went along and which I finished with a picot edge.

Xmas cats

 Any one who has followed this blog will know that I can occasionally be a little obsessed with my animals.  They are an important part of me and now that the children are growing up and leaving home these furry friends are even more central to my life.  After Peri died I was bereft.  He left the hugest hole in my heart and my life, more than I would have ever thought possible.  even now almost three years after his death, I still cry occasionally and miss him terribly.

But I was fortunate enough enough to be blessed with two kittens Pearl and Jasper who grew up and produced two gorgeous litters of kittens.  The first litter was a little fraught as we were away for the weekend when Pearl went into labour.  We returned home to just one kitten that Pearl was completely uninterested in.  When I tried to get her to feed the wee kit, she bit his tail and kinked it.  patiently I managed to get her to feed the kitten and he became know as Buster or baby cat.  He is hte darker and larger cat.  Baby cat slept with us from a few days old because Pearl decided if she was going to have to look after this creature then it would only be next to me. Naturally having virtually reared this little fellow there was no chance of him ever leaving.

The second litter was more successful only a little quicker than we had planned due to an accidental leaving of the cats together at the wrong time.  How accidental I will never know but perhaps one day youngest daughter will confess.  This litter produced four beautiful healthy kittens, three girls and one boy. Ollie was promised to a friend from the start and for 8 weeks I kept myself from falling in love with him even though he reminded me of Peri at every moment.  For 8 weeks I managed to believe he was going to live with my friend, but she couldn't take him until he was 16 weeks old and when the other litter mates went, he bonded with us.  So Ollie had to stay too. 

I love all my cats I really do, but Ollie is something special, not a Peri replacement for there could never be one of those but he's certainly up there.

Believe in your dreams

Believe in your dreams, for no-one else will if you do not.  This is harder than it first seems, as humans we are filled with self doubt, or fear that we often fail to follow the paths set out before us.  We deem it selfish or egotistical to do what makes us happy and to an extent it can be.  But if we are always aware of others and their part to play in our journey then we can do both.  I like that idea.  This year I will write my novel.  Furthermore I will take a chance and send it to a publisher because it is my dream and it's not going to come true if I don't take action.

Yesterday I had the privilege and the joy of being invited to a BBQ.  It wasn't a huge affair the friend hosting isn't a great socialiser so it was even more precious to be included in the select few.  I went with a little trepidation unsure how much of a good time would be had, but determined to show my face and show my gratitude for being thought of.  I dragged my very patient and tolerant husband along who is even less of a socialiser than the friend we were visiting.  I was prepared for fraught times.

What transpired was an amazing afternoon and evening filled with lots of laughter and jokes and I meant some really lovely people that I would love to get to know more.  Even better I got to see my husband laughing and joking with the rest of them in a way I haven't seen previously.  It was a special moment.  My heart swells when I see him smile.

Of course this is a knitting blog and it would be remiss of me not to mention knitting that at a later date I rely on to blog about.  So to prove that I am very indeed obsessed with knitting and really do take it everywhere, here's a shot of me up the top of Mount Tongaririo crossing knitting away during a brief stop.

New Year 2014

A lot has happened in a year.  I got married.  Pear had two lots of kittens and we somehow managed to end up with a kitten from each litter.  it wasn't intentional but it was just very hard to let them go.  So baby cat and Ollie cam e to join the already bursting household.  There are days when i still miss Peri intensely and these little critters do their best to cheer me.

Wedding dress

Regular visitors to my blog know I'm just a little on the crazy side. I have always been so even as a wee child. But enough of that.  My current craziness is to knit my own wedding dress.  Not so crazy perhaps there are lots of by beautiful designs on ravelry and elsewhere on the interweb.  But when the date is the 12/12/12 then it gets a little loony. Knitted Wedding dress patterns are more common than I first thought and this one struck my eye. I'm planning on adapting the length and possibly not doing the sleeves but this coat instead. 

OH MY

I had forgotten how much work was involved in caring for one kitten, let alone two of them..  It seems that they are into everything.  They like to chew the laptop and my iPhone.  They especially love the cables,  they whizz from room to room at full pelt chasing and hiding, leaving a trail of debris behind them that is knocked over the second it is put right.

You can go nowhere without an audience of at least one if not three.  Pearl fell into the bath the other day after a tussle for space on the side where all three had perched to watch.  Jasper is constantly being shut in cupboards because an open door is an invitation right!

But they are so adorable and so much fun.
Thank goodness I have Amber who has slotted into her new role as surrogate mum as if she were born to it

The new arrivals

So Amber has proven just how mellow and adorable she really is by being totally unfazed by two new arrivals.

Not one hiss or spit came from Amber an when she realised the babies were scared of her, she hung back at the door, lay on her back and let them come to her. Such a sweetheart.

Meet Pearl and Jasper, nine week old Cornish Rex kittens. The both have sirex markings which basically means they are pointed like siamese. Jasper is the boy and he's a chocolate point. He's very sure of himself and struts down the hall.

His sister Pearl is a curly coat and looks like a sheep. She's a lilac point and a little smaller and quieter than her brother.

But I think she's as glad as me when they finally fall asleep.

Amber's House

It's hard to believe that Amber has only been with us for just over a week. It truly feels as though she has always been a part of the family. She caused major worries last Monday when she started sneezing and became lethargic and lost her appetite. A trip back to the SPCA confirmed that she had caught Cat Flu and was a poorly girl.

All Tuesday she was very sorry for herself and I fed her via syringe to ensure she didn't dehydrate on me. She was so gentle and submitted very willingly to being wrapped up like a baby in a towel and being fed cat milk.

The weekend saw a dramatic improvement in her health and she was even well enough to help the gruff man finish her play gym, which she promptly explored thoroughly and gave a huge thumbs up to.



She clearly had some ideas on how it should be built.



The man feels suitably pleased with himself.Everyone knows how hard cats are to please.

Meet Amber

Amber is a one year old Red point Burmese and even though I am her mummy and have to think she's gorgeous, she is in my opinion super pretty.



I didn't think I could even begin to love another cat after my darling Peri died and I certainly didn't expect it to happen so soon. I was talking to a very good friend who suggested I go and have a look around the SPCA. I thought he was mad, but on the way home the idea just kept nagging at me. I was down to my last thirty km of fuel, I had about two hundred dollars to my name and only an hour before needing to be at the school to collect the youngest daughter. It was madness, what was the point of even looking, I knew that I didn't want any old moggy, sweet and cute as tehy might be. I wanted Peri and there wasn't anyway that was going to happen.
But the idea wouldn't budge, so I ended up at the SPCA. I walked up the row of cages, sad that these beautiful creatures had experienced sadness at the hands of humans, but none moved me. There was a very friendly calico in the last cage and I was going to ask to stroke her. The volunteer was busy so I wandered back down the row and there suddenly was Peri, well not Peri but his eyes, stunningly blue and wise beyond cat knowledge.



So there she was, a Burmese with blue eyes. Peri was a Chocolate point Tonk, which means he was half Burmese and half Siamese. She had been handed in two days earlier because her owners were leaving the country and couldn't take her with them. The volunteer wasn't sure if Amber could be adopted because she hadn't eaten since arriving. The cage was opened and my heart melted. I knew I could love this sweet little girl. As she rubbed and told me how happy she was to see me, I saw flashes of Peri but different. As I stroked her silky creamy fur she began to eat her biscuits and that was the moment I knew she was coming home.



Her original name was Angel and I think Peri sent an angel to ease my sadness. I thought she was deserving of a more elegant name and so Amber it was.



From the moment she came home, it was as if she belonged there. She wasn't shy, she wasn't scared, she took it all in her stride and was quite adamant that she didn't need to be left alone in one room to get used to the place. She greeted everyone with warmth and affection and stole our hearts in one fell swoop.




Even the gruff man who claims to hate cats and have no heart spent Saturday afternoon building a cat gym that seriously is big enough for a tiger to play on.

Elijah

Ok so a little late, but better than never right, I've cast on for Elijah, the cute blue Elelphant by Ysolda Teague. The last one had a wee demonic slant to his eyes no doubt the reason Peri felt he had to be duly attacked and kept under guard. This one I swear is out to drive me insane. You start by casting on six stitches and joining in the round. I mean that's fairly simple even with small toothpicks. Seven times I tried and seven times those darn six stitches stitched me up. They twisted and turn and lumped together until I decided Elijah would have to live with a nipple in the middle of his head. Then we have the trunk. The trunk that everyone thought looked like a duck bill so now I've ripped it back to see if the second attempt can make it more pachydermy. How can a stuffed toy cause such angst? Maybe I'll have answers in the morning. If I survive the night.

On a completely different note, I found out last night that my eldest daughter has been reading my notebooks and journals for years. This makes me feel somewhat uneasy not because there's anything terrible in them but because the writing in them is my deepest soul revealed. I put the craziest thoughts down, for instance in 2004 I put that I wanted to walk up a mountain. I don't even remember writing that, but it was definitely my handwriting and not my evil twin, which I don't have but wish I did at times because then I could be bad and blame her. Sorry I digress a little. Anyway this year I did walk up a mountain. A big one.

This is an active volcano in the middle of the north island. It took six and a half hours to walk over the Tongariro Crossing but it was worth it.

Life goes on

I can believe how much I miss Peri. He was such a part of everything. He would wakes us up in the morning waiting at the bedroom door ready to be let inside, and then follow me around until it was time to take Daisy to school. He always greeted us with a purr and miaow when we came home although sometimes it was a bit cross because we'd been gone too long for him.
He's buried in a lovely sunny spot under the bathroom window which was his favourite perch.
I know we have to look forward because there is no going back but it's hard to get used to the new quet house.
Beloved Peri.
Prince amongst cats
14-2-2008 14-2-2012

My Beautiful Cat

Farewell Peri. I will miss you so much. You were the best cat In the world and I still can't beleive that you wont be miaowing at 4 O' clock for your meat. I am so sad that you've gone, five years was not long enough my precious boy.

So my wonderful Tonkinese Cat Peri died today tragically killed by some dogs. I'm heart broken he really was the love of my life.

Officially Unemployed

but actually rushed off my feet. Really how on earth did I manage to run a home and work full time. It seems almost impossible to imagine now that I seem to spend all day baking and cleaning and hardly a minute for myself. Did time expnd in order to allow everything to be accomplished. I don't understand it but I'm looking forard to finding employment outside the home so I can have a coffee break and a lunch hour again, oh and the money wouldn't go amiss either.

It's 5am and once more Lucy is awake staring at the ceiling trying to make sense of the mess that is her life. She knows each individual crack and bump having had the opportunity to study the ceiling in great depth despite only living in the place for five months
Five months, 3 days and 17 hours to be exact. She sighs and feels the tears begin to prick her eyes. When she wonders will it get any easier, when will she not yearn for his arms to be around her, when will she not long to see his smile, hear his laugh and feel part of a couple.
She knows the answer, of course she does. She's not stupid and if there had been any hope of him being the man she wanted him to be she would still be there. But still her heart hurts.
She tries not to think about how foolish she was, how naively she believed his lies, but she cannot help still loving him and that makes it so difficult to move forward. She wants to. She wants to be anywhere but in this pit of despiar which feels as though it wants to suck every ounce of happiness from her body, an emotion vampire.

NO! NO! NO!

OMG can it really be December in just a day or two? How can that be, I'm not ready I tell you. I'll never be ready in time. Perhaps it could be postponed until February or maybe March. Perhaps the rest of the world could be frozen ( not literally) in time while I carry on merrily until I have finished both jumpers for Eldest daughter;

And managed a new Elijah for Youngest Daughter.

Pretty Please.

Perhaps this is what I need?